I've been thinking a lot lately about how much the world fucking sucks. Oh, come on....admit it, sometimes it really does. There are so many cruel, evil people out there. Even children can be mean, vicious and rotten. Thankfully, my child is not one of them. Yet.
I say "yet" and if you know him, don't freak out. I don't actually believe he will turn out like that, but I DO worry that the rotten little assholes out there (both children and so-called adults) will change my baby boy's good-hearted enthusiasm, sweetness and lovable nature into something much darker and it scares the shit out of me. Also, it pisses me off.
I worry that the little shithead who is picking on him now in school is going to get to him, get under his skin and make him start to question his worth. I worry that other little assholes are going to start in on him, seeing that he is such an easy target because he's too sweet and good-natured to fight back. Of course, I praise him every day for handling himself like a gentleman and remind him of how truly awesome he is, but still....I pray it's not going in one ear and out the other.
Also....in case you're wondering...I have counseled him in how to handle himself when one of these kids is picking on him. I tell him to ignore it. If they are persistent, to look them up and down as if they are nothing more than an insignificant flea and to either say "whatever" or give the facial expression equivalent and turn away as if he can't be bothered. He says he did this the other day and the little girl could only respond in kind and she then left him alone. GOOD.
I hope this tactic works. I hope he keeps it up, if necessary. And, if she or anyone else lays a hand on him, I hope he remembers the other advice I gave him. Walk away - try your best to get away from them. If a teacher is within earshot, say something but then again, if a teacher is within earshot the physical altercation shouldn't get very far. Shouldn't, I would hope. If there is no responsible adult nearby, and you are not being allowed to walk away, haul out and punch that little fucker right in the face. Give them an almighty shove and once they're on the ground, THEN walk away and go straight to a teacher to tell them what happened. Chances are, he'll get in trouble anyway because the school system is so completely fucked up these days. Doesn't matter if he was simply acted in self defense. Doesn't matter that the teacher failed to do their job and keep an eye on the kids (I know, I know - they don't have enough eyes, they're only human and I agree....but still - if they're going to be unreasonable in this situation, so am I). They're going to punish him anyway and ya know what? THAT SUCKS.
They tell these kids "don't bully" "bullying is wrong" "walk away" "just say no" but do they ever address what to do if you find yourself in a situation I just described above? No adults in sight or in yelling distance and you're getting the shit kicked out of you? What??? Just sit there and TAKE IT? Be a good boy or girl and lay there while you get your teeth kicked in??? Do they even bother to consider the alternatives? I don't know - this was never addressed when I was a kid. If someone was beating on you, you had two choices: kick the little bastards ass if you could, or lay there and take it. Or rather, fight back and still get your ass handed to you. OK, so that's three choices, but anyway.....
Everyone treats kids these days like they're completely stupid and made of glass. Take the fact that every damn grade has a graduation ceremony now. For fuck's sake, WHY??? By the time they reach high school, when they should truly be celebrating, it's no big fucking deal because they've been through it twelve times before! Gee, thanks for ruining THAT major turning point in your kids life.
Oh and another douchey thing that they do now.....handing out trophies to EVERYONE, even those that didn't win. OMG, really???? Yes, let's celebrate mediocrity and teach these kids that it's OK to half-ass it, because that's good enough. Let's ram it into their heads that if you lose, it's OK! Just try harder, keep working at it! Instead they're handed a medal or trophy anyway, even when they fuck it up and in turn, they're taught to never strive for improvement. Notice I didn't say "perfection". No, of course not - why? Because I'm not a psycho, that's why. Nobody is perfect, never will be. But, we can always try to be better than we were before. Maybe at some point, we might reach a level we cannot get past because we have improved as much as we're going to. It may not be as good as someone else, and that's OK, too. As long as you worked at it, tried your best and continue to give it your very best. Oh, and when it comes to sports and other extra-curricular activities - make sure they love it. Not you. Them. What's the fucking point, otherwise???
This "everyone is a winner" bullshit is just plum stupid. You can't call everyone a winner, otherwise you completely negate the point of even naming a winner! You might as well say everyone is a loser. This PC shit is really annoying. It's everywhere, like morning-after-chili fart fumes. Thick,cloying and makes me gag. *ACK* <<insert Bill the Cat impression here>>
Oh, look - there it is! LOL
Wow....I got completely off track, didn't I? Yep - there's my ADHD or ADD or whatever, hard at work, fucking up my train of thought. It derails at every fucking station.
Back to my original topic.....
My boy is very sensitive and sweet and loving and empathetic. I know he's mine and I'm completely biased but I do believe he is special. He is going to touch a lot of lives in some way. It may be small and unobtrusive, or it may be in a big way, for all to see. With his flair for the dramatics, that is entirely possible.
I see an old soul in him, and someone who could make a lot of people very happy simply by being himself, and I don't want the world to ruin him. I don't want his light to fade in any way - I want it to shine, brighter and brighter as he grows up! I want him to hold on to that sweetness and compassion even as he grows and develops a thicker skin.
I don't want the bullies, the asshats, the douche bags and the evil-doers to get to him, to extinguish that light of his in any way. I know, I can't protect him forever, but I fear for that light. I fear for his sweetness and good humor and love for all things helpless and small.
I am mother to an amazing little boy and for that I am profoundly grateful. It's only natural that I want to protect him. I am fierce Mama Bear and I will destroy anyone who tries to hurt my baby. So is it any wonder I don't want this crazy, janked-up world we live in to mess with him??? DUH. But instead of focusing on the crazy, I will focus on the wonder of it. The "random acts of kindness" that restore my faith in humanity will be my guiding inspiration and I will bring my little boy's attention to that, and teach him to emulate those acts and take heart, should the world ever try to make him lose it.
I will protect his little body as long as I can, until he becomes a grown-ass man and tells his wackadoodle mother to back off. But I will always, always, always want to protect his spirit because that is worth more than anything in this whole wide world to me.